Here is why napping with the Fox Soccer Channel on, during a Saturday afternoon does not produce proper napping conditions when compared to napping on a similar day during a golf tournament.
At some point in the 90 minutes of a soccer game, a team is likely to score -- not always, but it's likely. When that happens, the announcers go completely berserk as if it was the greatest moment EVER in sports history and will NEVER be repeated again. When it happens, you will wake up; angry.
With golf, they use the same little woosy whisper through the entire event. When Tiger Woods makes a record-breaking, amazing, 157 yard putt through the woods, banking the ball from tree to tree, they still whisper but while smiling -- like they just saw a fat little toddler holding a kitten, with his face smudged in chocolate sauce.
And that, my friends, is precisely why Golf Naps far outweigh Soccer Naps in the quality department.
By the way, Everton is tied with West Hampton, 1 all in the 81st minute. Trust me... This game will not make headlines, unless I'm convicted of arson after throwing one of the boys' snow boots through the television before the penalty minutes are timed out.