• makes a resolution to spend more time at work. Websurfing on the high-speed lines.
• makes a resolution to stop bringing lunch from home. I really need to eat out more.
• makes a resolution to bring back disco.
• makes a resolution to focus more on the faults of my colleagues rather than my own.
• makes a resolution to drive past a gym at least once a week.
• makes a resolution to drink. Then drink some more.
• makes a resolution to work with neglected children. My own.
• makes a resolution to stop saying B-R-B every time I need to use the toilet.
• makes a resolution to spread out my priorities farther than my ability to keep track of them.
Dec
29
More Resolutions for New Year!
Posted by Lew in Holidays on 12 29th, 2008| | No Comments »
Dec
28
Timeless New Year’s Resolutions
Posted by Lew in Holidays on 12 28th, 2008| | No Comments »
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to always remove the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to always wear clean underpants, “Just in case.”
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to stop reliving the past, and just worry about the future.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to do less laundry and use more deodorant.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to stop calling in sick with the same old excuses. I will create some new ones.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to spend more time watching mindless television programs.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to gain some serious weight and stop exercising so regularly.
• says my New Year’s resolution will be to make a list over every nasty person I know a start plotting my sweet revenge.